How Does It Feel.....

The music this week is from a playlist that I created on my IPod, wwwwaaaaaaaaayyyyy back when the 'marathon imperative' first pushed its way into my 'why do I have to dream so big' brain.



F. ME! TriGreyHound says it better than I think I have ever heard it said: "I'm struggling against the gravitational pull of normal". Indeed.



I'm freeling a weensy bit frustrated... but how would you ever know....

"I'm trying to break these blues, but I can't even get them to bend...."

Anyway, I managed at least a brief workout this morning. Possibly only because I committed to doing so after railing away for an hour to my shrink (and to think he has put up with me for ten years - thank GOD for Canada's wonderful healthcare system) yesterday about the absolute futility of continuing to try after failing so many times. Of course, as I write this, I realize how silly I'm being. I'm just angry and frustrated with myself because in the midst of an otherwise OK weekend I ended up making a very bad choice.



I'm angy because I know that it was a choice that I made but I'm frustrated that I wasn't, in the moment, able to make a different and better choice.



This sort of says just about everything about me.....



But, on the other hand, the very fact that I'm writing this and still getting frustrated and still trying is exactly the reason why I'm still alive.

"It's my life, it's know or never, I'm not going to live forever..... I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE WHILE I'M ALIVE"

Amen.

I WILL!