Never slow down in the middle of of a mud puddle....

I continue to struggle.

I feel like I have too much going on in my life at the moment and that I am doing none of it very well. I feel overwhelmed and scared shitless that everything is going to collapse from the weight of it all.

I am not coping with the stress of my workload and making matters infinately worse, I am making bad decisions based on poor judgment and the lies that I tell myself. I am fucking up... it is just as simple as that. I have nobody to blame.

In short, life in Scottsville sucks right now. Boo hoo... oh woe is me ...

Oh well, c'est la vie. Another week is upon us; another week to try to do better. There is no use in crying over spilled milk... water under the bridge and all of that.

I can't help but to think that all of this is somehow related (in ways that are not at all clear to me... yet anyway) to my pathological fear of dating and intimacy. It would be just so like me to trash everything in sight just to make certain that I have an excuse to push away any potential partners.... to be all dark and twisty like Meredith from Grey's Anatomy (aside: OMG how brilliant was the first episode... Izzy, prone on the floor in her ballgown, paralyzed by grief....)

Anyway... life goes on. If I can rely on experience, I know that these tempestuous times are transitory and that this storm will pass and I will find myself stronger for having weathered it.

Thanks for all of your encouraging comments. It really helps to know that people care and are rooting for you.

Be well!