On Change
Approach each new problem not with a view of finding what you hope will be there, but to get the truth, the realities that must be grappled with. You may not like what you find. In that case you are entitled to try to change it. But do not deceive yourself as to what you do find to be the facts of the situation.
Well folks - ready or not - This is me.
All of me.
If only you knew just how much I hate posting this picture. Surely, I'm not that fat.... am I? How can it be that I look like this when I feel so thin... and when I'm otherwise soooooo HAPPY..... oh yeah, I forgot, the camera adds 10 lbs..... YUK!
Would somebody PLEASE pass the fucking gravy .....
But the point of doing so is .... that posting it is a statement about accepting myself just exactly as I am. This is me world. You all share your pictures with me and the world at large, so why shouldn't I? This is the only me that I am every going to be; at least physically. Time to deal Scott. Through it all, thick and thin (pun intended), it has been the battle with my weight that has on some level been the most difficult.... the most soul destroying.... food was the original cocaine... the most.... well nevermind. It is in the past. There is only the future.
All of me.
If only you knew just how much I hate posting this picture. Surely, I'm not that fat.... am I? How can it be that I look like this when I feel so thin... and when I'm otherwise soooooo HAPPY..... oh yeah, I forgot, the camera adds 10 lbs..... YUK!
Would somebody PLEASE pass the fucking gravy .....
But the point of doing so is .... that posting it is a statement about accepting myself just exactly as I am. This is me world. You all share your pictures with me and the world at large, so why shouldn't I? This is the only me that I am every going to be; at least physically. Time to deal Scott. Through it all, thick and thin (pun intended), it has been the battle with my weight that has on some level been the most difficult.... the most soul destroying.... food was the original cocaine... the most.... well nevermind. It is in the past. There is only the future.
But as the quotation above says... you are welcome to try to change it. Which is exactly what I'm trying to do. And though I'm making progress, some days are better than others. But honestly, this weight struggle is the like the holy fucking grail for me....
My problem is that I am WAY too self-indulgent. I am too often without discipline. I am a master at deceiving myself. Damnit, why can't I have my cake and eat it too?
Alas, bacon will never love me back.
My problem is that I am WAY too self-indulgent. I am too often without discipline. I am a master at deceiving myself. Damnit, why can't I have my cake and eat it too?
Alas, bacon will never love me back.
Anyway such is my life. Notwithstanding, I'm playing awesome tennis, I'm progressing on the treadmill (not running much on the roads due to tennis), and I'm gaining flexibility daily at Yoga. And, not to sell myself short, I've managed to lose almost 10 pounds in the same years as quitting smoking.
What more could I ask for?
It's all GOOD!
Of course, you'll won't see another picture of me until I'm at least twenty pounds lighter....
What more could I ask for?
It's all GOOD!
Of course, you'll won't see another picture of me until I'm at least twenty pounds lighter....
posted by Scott at 5:29 PM
4 Comments:
OK, you've inspired me to post more pics of myself, the ones that I couldn't imagine were actually me. I can relate to this stuff on SO many levels, buddy. You are doing SO WELL and the smile is proof positive. Thanks for putting it out there for all of us to see - you're beautiful and the smile says it all...
Now, I was expecting to see someone twice your size. Give yourself more credit!
I love it! You look pretty damn good to me! Your attitude is amazing and wonderful. Your words are really inspiring on so many levels for me.
:) Losing ten pounds in the same year as quitting smoking is quite a feat. Over the 2 years I met David and quit smoking (cold turkey) I was still running but managed to gain about 20-30 pounds, I was never heavy, but my wedding and honeymoon pics sure look like a different girl than this new triathlete/marathoner girl.
If I can lose 20 pounds in one year through triathlete training I have no doubt you will get to your goal weight!
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