Things are rarely as bad as we imagine them to be...
Went swimming at the Y this morning. Managed 6x50 metres. Hate the front crawl! Drank about a gallon of chlorine.
I probably could have swam more lengths but I had the good sense not to push it. I will no doubt be stiff as a board tomorrow. I was the third person in the pool at 7:05 a.m. In twenty minutes there were about twenty more, including several very smart and toned looking individuals who appeared to be taking part in a Masters' Class. I wondered if they were triathaletes? For a few seconds, I considered whether I might someday do a triathalon? I was relieved that nothing hurt.
I CAN DO THIS.
Having battled weight and body image issues my whole life, taking even this baby step is a gigantic step forward for me. So much so, I can't even figure out how to write about it in any kind of succinct or cogent manner... suffice to say that to swim (in a public pool) is about as difficult as it gets for me.
REALITY... if I want to hold out any hope of being able to run my marathon, I'd better make friends with the Loch Ness monster that lurks in the swimming pool of my mind.
In other developments... I walked on my treadmill yesterday and on Thursday (both days I had planned to go to the pool but wussed out). Yesterday, I did 2 miles with my shins screaming for the entire duration. I tried to run briefly but it was a no go. My next physio appointment is tomorrow morning.
On my way home from the Y, I pondered why I have this need or desire to run a marathon? On the surface it's an easy question to answer.. but when I plumb the depths it becomes a little murkier. I fear that it has to do with a lack of acceptance of the realities of aging? Does this resonate? Anybody have any answers they'd like to share?
I probably could have swam more lengths but I had the good sense not to push it. I will no doubt be stiff as a board tomorrow. I was the third person in the pool at 7:05 a.m. In twenty minutes there were about twenty more, including several very smart and toned looking individuals who appeared to be taking part in a Masters' Class. I wondered if they were triathaletes? For a few seconds, I considered whether I might someday do a triathalon? I was relieved that nothing hurt.
I CAN DO THIS.
Having battled weight and body image issues my whole life, taking even this baby step is a gigantic step forward for me. So much so, I can't even figure out how to write about it in any kind of succinct or cogent manner... suffice to say that to swim (in a public pool) is about as difficult as it gets for me.
REALITY... if I want to hold out any hope of being able to run my marathon, I'd better make friends with the Loch Ness monster that lurks in the swimming pool of my mind.
In other developments... I walked on my treadmill yesterday and on Thursday (both days I had planned to go to the pool but wussed out). Yesterday, I did 2 miles with my shins screaming for the entire duration. I tried to run briefly but it was a no go. My next physio appointment is tomorrow morning.
On my way home from the Y, I pondered why I have this need or desire to run a marathon? On the surface it's an easy question to answer.. but when I plumb the depths it becomes a little murkier. I fear that it has to do with a lack of acceptance of the realities of aging? Does this resonate? Anybody have any answers they'd like to share?
posted by Scott at 8:00 AM
5 Comments:
Your decision to do a marathon is the responsible choice. You don't need to justify it to yourself. You know you're doing the right thing. If you're like me, your reasoning will become more clear yet more complicated as you continue. It is hard to explain but you are embarking on a journey. A jorney that will take you places you've never been. I'm excited that I get to read all about it. I can't wait to hear the details. Good luck.
Benny
good job on getting to the pool!
I have been struggling with my "why's" lately.
If you figure it out let me know ;)
Just know that regardless of the reason it is a good choice to make fitness a priority.
Awesome job in the pool!! Way to go. I swear sometimes it is really hard just getting up, getting your gear, getting to the pool, and getting IN the water! It's not like running, where you just put your sneaks on and head out the door. Awesome.
I have no answers, but often wonder why, too. Why do I push myself? My mom always asks what am I running from? Maybe the question is what are we running to?
hey congrats on diving in. i like to ask myself the question, "where would i be if i didn't have fear?" looks like you're asking yourself the same question, and ending up in the pool. =)
as far as why i run the races? it gives me identity. i think that the ego aspect of identity is what, deep down inside, draws me to the races.
that, and i've got some issues with how overweight my family is.
Scott, way to go! I'm with you...I drink about 1/2 the pool when I swim. I commend you on tackling your personal demons. You CAN do this. Stay strong. I'm pulling for you.
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