"Shut up and fucking run"
Fuck me! I woke up this morning with the intent of going for my planned swim (that I skipped on Sunday due to being too drunk to even consider being disorderly) however, when I looked out the window, I discovered that it had snowed. And, to make matters still worse, it was still totally dark as the result of the time change last weekend. So naturally I just sucked it up and went ahead with my plan. So not!
Instead, I went straight back to bed and got all sucky and started feeling sorry for myself. (So there!) When that got boring, I tried getting up once again hoping for a better result. Nope.
This time, I poured myself a cup of coffee, took one sip, looked out the window once more, and concluded that not only had it snowed overnight, but that it was too freakin cold to go swimming (You'd think I was planning to swim outdoors for Godsakes!). So, always the one to make lemonade out of fucking lemons.... I poured the coffee back into the pot and yet again allowed my considerable ass to take its comfort wrapped in my very warm down comforter atop my very comfy bed.
(laugh here folks.... remember, I share this crap because it forces me to take myself less seriously) Then, I did the whole thing once more still. This time after weighing myself and concluding that I was too fat to live much less run.
So do you get the point? Do you feel my misery? Finally, after a time, I got up and started to read blogs. At this point, it was getting too late to go to the Y so I decided that I would workout on the treadmill. This seemed like a suitable compromise and besides, I was anxious to test whether my pain free workout of yesterday would continue into today. So, coffee in hand, I sat at my computer to read a few blogs.
I swear, this is the first thing I read - courtesy of Duncan.... "Shut up and fucking run." Then I read about Benny leaving for his Ironman in Arizona this weekend; then about Elizabeth's taper leading up to Boston.... on and on I read. This is the power of the blog.
Do you think running into any of these folks in blog land is an accident. NOT!
So, over the past two days, I've done a respectable 7 miles of combined walking/running on my treadmill and while I can't say that I felt great this morning, I could have done more. I even had to quash several thoughts of taking my run outside to see if I could run a mile on land This is encouraging despite the fact that I was feeling some pain going down the stairs into the subway after work.
One of the best things about running for me is the clarity that I feel about my life. This morning's thoughts were mostly about just feeling grounded, accepting the limitations of my aging body (However, I have no such acceptance tonight as I write this post but whatever...), and validating for myself that any kind of running or physical workout is good. I spun wonderful thoughts about getting back onto the tennis court and cracking the wicked big serve that I possessed once upon a time (it was probably a tad bigger in my mind) ....
I spent some time thinking that I really had to relax off of the weight thing during this first year of not smoking. And, most importantly, I validated the extent to which (despite it all) I am conquering my historically low self-esteem; that bad days or even weekend misadventures don't equate to a person who is less than. It doesn't get better than this.
Non-sequitur - watch Huff on HBO. The Movie Network in Canada. It is the new Six Feet Under.
Instead, I went straight back to bed and got all sucky and started feeling sorry for myself. (So there!) When that got boring, I tried getting up once again hoping for a better result. Nope.
This time, I poured myself a cup of coffee, took one sip, looked out the window once more, and concluded that not only had it snowed overnight, but that it was too freakin cold to go swimming (You'd think I was planning to swim outdoors for Godsakes!). So, always the one to make lemonade out of fucking lemons.... I poured the coffee back into the pot and yet again allowed my considerable ass to take its comfort wrapped in my very warm down comforter atop my very comfy bed.
(laugh here folks.... remember, I share this crap because it forces me to take myself less seriously) Then, I did the whole thing once more still. This time after weighing myself and concluding that I was too fat to live much less run.
So do you get the point? Do you feel my misery? Finally, after a time, I got up and started to read blogs. At this point, it was getting too late to go to the Y so I decided that I would workout on the treadmill. This seemed like a suitable compromise and besides, I was anxious to test whether my pain free workout of yesterday would continue into today. So, coffee in hand, I sat at my computer to read a few blogs.
I swear, this is the first thing I read - courtesy of Duncan.... "Shut up and fucking run." Then I read about Benny leaving for his Ironman in Arizona this weekend; then about Elizabeth's taper leading up to Boston.... on and on I read. This is the power of the blog.
Do you think running into any of these folks in blog land is an accident. NOT!
So, over the past two days, I've done a respectable 7 miles of combined walking/running on my treadmill and while I can't say that I felt great this morning, I could have done more. I even had to quash several thoughts of taking my run outside to see if I could run a mile on land This is encouraging despite the fact that I was feeling some pain going down the stairs into the subway after work.
One of the best things about running for me is the clarity that I feel about my life. This morning's thoughts were mostly about just feeling grounded, accepting the limitations of my aging body (However, I have no such acceptance tonight as I write this post but whatever...), and validating for myself that any kind of running or physical workout is good. I spun wonderful thoughts about getting back onto the tennis court and cracking the wicked big serve that I possessed once upon a time (it was probably a tad bigger in my mind) ....
I spent some time thinking that I really had to relax off of the weight thing during this first year of not smoking. And, most importantly, I validated the extent to which (despite it all) I am conquering my historically low self-esteem; that bad days or even weekend misadventures don't equate to a person who is less than. It doesn't get better than this.
Non-sequitur - watch Huff on HBO. The Movie Network in Canada. It is the new Six Feet Under.
posted by Scott at 6:43 PM
8 Comments:
Thanks for the mention in your post. I hope reading my adventures helped in some way. I agree, the blog can be a powerful thing. The first day I wrote a post, I had no idea what it would turn into. Not that I'm famous or anything, but I didn't realize how many people I would get to know and feel comfort with. This, is the power of the blog. In my opinion, the best part is that your readers hold you accountable. When you tell them your plan, you'd better do it or they will be dissapointed. Since your readers quickly become your friends, naturally, you don't want to dissapoint your friends. So you get out of bed on those cold snowy mornings and you run so that you can tell everyone about your triumph. Then, the next day, you do it all over again. After a while, you begin to feel good about yourself for what you've accomplished and you naturally want to continue, not for your readers, but for yourself. Then, when you have the self motivation that you need, your readers are there to be supportive and lend advice when you need it. Then, as if things can't get better, they become incredibly close friends and you can't wait to read about their lives too. The list of positive things about the blog goes on and on. You get my point. You see Scott, right now, you are in the first phase where you need your readers to help you stay accountable. Maybe it will help to announce your intentions for the day, then make sure you live up to them. Trust me, in time it will get easier. It always does. But the beginning is always the hardest part. If you can be consistent, it will be easy to get up and exercise because you will want it. Getting to that phase is the challenge. Anyway, if you need help, in whatever way, let me know. I know my readers helped me. Take care and best of luck. I look forward to hearing more.
Benny
Yes, everything Benny said... So often I log on feeling blah and log off rarin' to go. You're doing SUCH an amazing job of keeping it all together despite the challenges of weight and not smoking... every day you do something for your body, you're getting stronger and healthier. And making a few friends along the way is no small bonus!! Hang in there and keep on keeping on... The payback will be sweet!!!
Similar minds think alike...the title of my blog and the title of your most recent post go hand in hand...i feel your pain, i agree with your thoughts...you've got support coming from me!
Thanks for a little giggle today. I couldn't help it, "This time after weighing myself and concluding that I was too fat to live much less run" was just too funny. I know it was a joke.
The important life changes always take a long time to develop...no one becomes a disciplined runner within a year, just like you can't become skinny or kick a habit with just a few dedicated months. Small steps, man. Just keep facing the right direction.
i love the kick in the pants that this running blog community provides me on a daily basis. it's somewhat a 'keeping up with the jones', but at the same time, pure motivation. hang tough and keep moving!
You're so funny! I feel really accountable to the blog world, too. I think of all the people with much tougher circumstances than me who still get out there and keep moving and there's no way I can't get out there and move my ass!
So glad you got out of bed!
I think your problem is the same as mine. Too damn comfortable of beds!
I swear when I am camping I have no trouble getting up!
Thanks for the ass kick with this post. I have been delaying my 4 miler all morning! Now I will get out and do it!
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