Dazed and confused...
Overall I had a good food/exercise week and I didn't smoke (117 days or 16 weeks and 5 days... but who's counting lol). This is good. Maybe this is all that one can ask for? Maybe this is all there is?
Otherwise, I am in a total muddle; struggling to make a decision as to whether or not I need to change jobs (I think I do, the thought of which terrorizes me). I tossed and turned all last night in bed trying to let go of a couple of particular situations that transpired at the office yesterday which had the effect of crushing my already shaky sense of self-confidence and sucking the soul right out of me (ok maybe that is just a tad dramatic... ). Just the same, I hate it when I allow people and/or circumstances (that I have no control over) to live inside of my thoughts like that - especially during the night when all I want or need is to sleep.
Due in large part to my work situation, I'm feeling totally vulnerable (exacerabated by not smoking) which is a feeling that I don't do well. That said, part of my journey in this life is to be able to stay with these feelings without allowing them to define who I am as a person.
It is totally incumbent upon me to recognize that what I'm experiencing at this moment would be immeasurably worse if I wasn't doing all that I am doing trying to be as physically fit and healthy as possible.
On a more positive note, I feel really good about my progress in the pool. I'm going to try to increase my distance to 750 m this coming week - with 250 m of freestyle.
Otherwise, I am in a total muddle; struggling to make a decision as to whether or not I need to change jobs (I think I do, the thought of which terrorizes me). I tossed and turned all last night in bed trying to let go of a couple of particular situations that transpired at the office yesterday which had the effect of crushing my already shaky sense of self-confidence and sucking the soul right out of me (ok maybe that is just a tad dramatic... ). Just the same, I hate it when I allow people and/or circumstances (that I have no control over) to live inside of my thoughts like that - especially during the night when all I want or need is to sleep.
Due in large part to my work situation, I'm feeling totally vulnerable (exacerabated by not smoking) which is a feeling that I don't do well. That said, part of my journey in this life is to be able to stay with these feelings without allowing them to define who I am as a person.
It is totally incumbent upon me to recognize that what I'm experiencing at this moment would be immeasurably worse if I wasn't doing all that I am doing trying to be as physically fit and healthy as possible.
On a more positive note, I feel really good about my progress in the pool. I'm going to try to increase my distance to 750 m this coming week - with 250 m of freestyle.
posted by Scott at 10:25 AM
3 Comments:
Life changing decisions are tough.
Great note about your pool progression!
Sorry to hear about the work situation. Stay strong on focusing on the things you can control, a common problem I have as well. I wish I could control other people so that it would benefit my life.
It sounds like it's time for you to start looking for a new job. I know it's tough but just think of the great opportunity that may be out there for you. We spend so much time at work that it stinks to be miserable!
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